Yeah well, so, I guess I will live... at least till tomorrow

Had to go to the orthopaedic doctor today. Been having trouble with my "good" ankle. Sharp pains that wake me up. On and off. Suddenly sharp and then numb.

The nice doctor told me I would live.

Narrowed it down after x-rays. One spur on my heel, one on the bottom of my foot. And a swollen Achilles tendon. Great. At least I don't have to give up working out... Or wearing my 3 & 4-inch heels.

And the extra time I spent sitting in the doctors office, I was able to get my readings done for school.

Tonight is another dose of allergy meds and early to bed. I have been fighting allergies since Friday...

If I wake up in the morning, I have to do a training workout tomorrow evening. At that point, I will physically die... Of exhaustion and pain... But the trainer is a cutie... Sometimes you have to make compromises!

Good night. Sweet dreams. Until tomorrow....

Truth - depression sucks!

In several of my past posts, you might have noticed that I haven't really been myself. Well, I haven't. I have been diagnosed, and have suffered, with clinical depression for over 10 years. Then throw panic/anxiety attacks on top of that, and you have me... one rather slightly disturbed, messed up lady. The holidays always seem to really push the envelope for me. I don't really enjoy them like I used to. I feel bad because my son loves them. I just can't seem to get into them.

Anyway, I went to my doctor yesterday and we had a nice discussion. It is time to change up my meds. The ones I have been on have seemed to work for quite a while, but things are changing and the meds just aren't doing it for me at this point.

I start my new meds tomorrow, once I get them filled. I am hoping these help because I hate feeling so dark. I don't want to get out of bed, I don't want to socialize, I just want to be a hermit and stay in my pajamas. I don't have the energy and I don't like the way I feel, the way I look, the way I am, who I am... and the list could go on for pages, if I let it.

I guess, what I want to say is that if there seems like something is not quite right, don't be afraid to look into it. It took me several years to get an accurate diagnosis and it helped me move forward and be who I am. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Unless you are divine, it probably won't get better without therapy and meds. It doesn't hurt to check.

Scale

Went 2 the doctor. Made me get on the scale! Now I'm depressed! Told me I need to lose weight. Now I feel like shit.