Me and Food

I am hungry, but that is normal.

I look in the fridge.... We have a fridge (and freezer) full of food, but I can't bring myself to eat it.

It's not bad for me... It's just that I can't mentally get past calories, fat, and carbs. 

I feel as though I'm going back to a bad place with my eating habits. I can't get out of my own head.

I hate how this feels... And these demons have a strong hold on me. I can't seem to shake them.

I'm trapped in my own thoughts.

E.D. Or D.E.?

I know I have issues with food. Wouldn't necessarily say I have an ED (eating disorder).... I have more of DE (disordered eating).... Which, in my opinion, are different!

Anyone lead out there fighting head demons?

losing weight and food for thought...

I have lost considerable weight since November and its been mainly due to hard work.
People keep asking how I'm doing it. I bet I would get more feedback by saying "I had plastic surgery" then I get by saying "by watching what I eat and cutting out a lot of carbs".
People seem more curious when it costs money... Not when it requires hard work.
Food for thought......

but I DO eat..

I just eat differently than everyone else in my family.

I watch calories, fat, carbs, sodium, and protein. I know what I can/cannot have and I know what works for me.

I limit breafs and pasta but might have a few crackers.

I limit alcohol... And don't really miss it.

My candy is sugar free and I eat frozen yogurt.

I do eat, but because I don't eat the way my mom cooks, it isn't right... But that's why I have lost weight and she now has a fatty lump.

I am going to continue eating my way. I get my vitamins, I get my veggies, I get my protein... I just don't take in excess fat, calories, or sodium....

Honest, I do eat....

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Thanksgiving Day... Another day

Wishing everyone a happy thanksgiving!

Got up this morning and was up 0.2#

Not happy, but guess I will live.

Got up and went to the gym. Worked out and it felt good. I am truly not sure who I am or what I feel, but it will all get clearer, I'm sure.

I will need to watch my intake tonight and not overdo it. Maybe a day of eating a little more won't kill me. In my mind, yes, but in reality, probably not!

new Outlook

Am walking a break, journaling my food, trying to walk at lunch.... And them hitting the gym.

Journaling and eating only food with labels is really helping. Makes me more aware.

I know I can do this, but I need to focus.

Food and Life

I went to a meeting yesterday and learned how to look at food.
I don't need excess to curvive and I need to know what I'm eating.
My new thing, starting this morning, is if I don't know the calories, I don't eat it.
Need to keep that mentality and hold myself accountable.
So far today, so good.
I feel good, not stuffed or bloated...
this might actually work...

Why can't I????

If Khloe can be that way, why can't I?

If she can be 5'10" and weight 145lbs, why can't I?

I guess I need to look at the weight and the body structure... but I'm only 5'8" and I am no where near 145lbs.

My idea weight is 145-165... and right now, in this mood, I would KILL to be in that range.

I have been training and working out, and watching my food, but I feel like hell.

I am sad. I hate the holidays... and now I feel even fatter with the holidays coming.

food question..

For breakfast I had my egg sandwich on a white bagels, instead of wheat bread. I had hunger cravings so bad all day.

Is it because of the white bread versus the whole wheat? Does whole wheat cause those silly cravings? Or just the white?

Aarrgghh!!!!!!

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Feeling good

Today is the 4th day since I started using Sensa. I am getting used to remembering it. I feel I am doing pretty well, especially since I started on Sunday when we went out for breakfast and had company for dinner. Monday was a group lunch and then company dinner. Tuesday was another group lunch. And I still feel positive. I haven't changed what I eat, so we will see how it works.
After the bad day on the scale, I need to get back on track.
I will keep you updated.

snack...

Peanut butter and sliced banana, sprinkled with granola.

Yum.... :)

my new recipe experiment

* Quinoa

* 3 egg whites

* Cubed chicken breast

* Spinach

* Grape tomatoes, sliced

* Fat free feta cheese

I beat 3 egg whites and put them in a pan. I then added the cubed chicken breast, scrambling the eggs as they cooked.

Once almost done, I moved all the egg into the middle of the pan and then placed the spinach and quinoa around the outside, heating it up and breaking down the spinach a little.

As the spinach started to cook down, I mixed everything together in the pan. I added the sliced tomatoes (I use the grape because they are small and not overly juicy). The tomatoes add some acid and then I mixed in the crumbled feta. The feta adds the "bite".

I don't cook too much longer, only to marry the flavors.

I put onto a plate and add a little more crumbled feta on top.

**MY FIRST COOKING "EXPERIMENT" WITH QUINOA... AND I THINK IT TURNED OUT PRETTY WELL... AND IT WAS FILLING**

Protein Bars

Tried a new protein bar. Thought it looked yummy.

I have always had issues with them being dry, or hard, or just plain... YUCK!

Well, this one looked good, but don't think I will try it again.

Good flavor, but the texture is gritty. I am not fond of it. It's not as bad as some I have had, but it's not as good as others. It's a solid bar, not dry... just gritty.

 It's up to you... and a matter of personal preference...

 

wordless Wednesday - lunch

banquet

Went to a banquet tonight. Didn't want to go but no choice.

I chose my salad (which I would have been fine with...) But I had rice with some beef (but not enough according to others). I went to the table and eat.

Mom growled that she thought I was hungry... And I hadn't eaten all my beef.

First... I was working on my salad (which would have been fine except mom paid for dinner) and the beef was salty (although she swears it wasn't).

I just wanted to come home...

I then was handed a square of cheesecake.

Oh please! Grrrrr. I ate part of the chocolate off the top, the raspberry gel and a few bites of the cheesecake. Too rich. Done.

I finally came home.... Feeling absolutely miserable and gross! I so do not want to so that again!

Yesterday was burger day

 

Yes, I did it. Yesterday, I went and had my burger and fries. You would have thought I haven't had one for centuries, but it truly hasn't been that long.

Anyway, I left and decided to actually eat it there... instead of bringing it back, making a mess on my desk, and having to chew between the ringing of the phone.

I ordered my burger - sloppy, with cheese, and everything else... tomato, lettuce, onion... and fries... with ketchup... lots of ketchup...

I sat down and relaxed, even if it was only 20 minutes or so. The sandwich was messy, but the ketchup with the fries tasted good. I ate it... at least most of it. Okay, I admit - the burger was not as profound as I had it in my mind. It just didn't have the "wow" I was imagining... I was kinda sad. I blew the calories and fat on something that just didn't really fill my craving. Bummer dude!

Now I was stuffed, sad, and kinda miserable... so I decided to clean up my spot, refill my diet soda, and go back to work...

Food Obsessed

I have come to the conclusion that I am obsessed with food and what I eat.

Although I don't always feel that way, like when I sit and have a couple glasses of wine, or a few small pieces of chocolate, but it's been getting pretty weird lately.

Yesterday, I was hungry for something for lunch, but not quite sure what. My brain started this conversation with myself about 10:30 or so... I take lunch at 11am. Anyway, I had to think about it because I knew we wouldn't be eating dinner until later because my son and I had doctor appointments right after work. By the time we would get home, it would be after 6:30 and then we would eat.  Typically we eat at 4:30 or 5pm, depending on when I get home from work.

Okay, so I thought about it and thought about it... couldn't decide on lunch. Ended up at the local grocery store, where I bought a salad and a turkey sandwich.

Mind you, it's not like I work in the boonies... where there is no where to go for lunch... I have a variety of food around here, all within 10 minutes of my office - McDonald's, Subway, Cousins, Culvers, 3 chinese places, Buffalo Wild Wings, Taco Bell, Arby's, Sonic, Wendy's, Applebees, Panera, a vegetarian restaurant, 5 guys, and the list goes on and on and on... So it's not like there is nothing to eat... because that is NOT the problem here.

Today the same thing happened. Started around 10:30 or so. Yesterday I thought about splurging on a hamburger and fries, but since I wasn't sure what was for dinner, I passed. I then figured, maybe tonight (Friday). Tonight I work all day and then I have to go right to my second job. No real time to eat, so the burger would be good - filling... something in me.

I thought about it today... burger? chinese? fries with ketchup sounds good. yum. Well, maybe... I don't know... do I really want to eat that? I am sooooo confused.... 

I got in the car, if I turn one direction, it's chinese, burgers, sushi. The other direction is... EVERYTHING else.

Anyway, I could not, COULD NOT, for the life of me... bring myself to get a burger... once again, even with my evening work and busy-ness, I ended up with a salad and fruit. It is driving me nuts. I cannot justify the junk, the fat, the calories, any of it.

It's like I'm obsessed and I cannot get past it. My mind won't let me. I can't justify it in my mind... 

Seriously, I ask... is there something wrong with me? Does this seem just really wrong? Or just not right?

Greek Yogurt - Question

I have a question...

I bought vanilla greek yogurt... yes, it's good for me... but I find that even the vanilla still has a bitter bite to it.

Does anyone have a suggestion for taming it down so it can be eaten without a cringe?

Thanks

 

Food vs Fat

Don't you hate it when...

you work with someone who can eat chocolate/chocolate chips muffins for breakfast, down it with a can of Red Bull, and then snack all day long...

and seem to never gain a pound?????

How frustrating is that?

Takes me back to my high school days. My best friend could sit in the commons in the morning, eat one of those packs of 6 cinnamon rolls with frosting and 2 cans of Coke Classic and not gain an ounce. We went shopping and for her, size 4 was too big, size 2 (or 3) was too small. Same with her wedding dress!

AARRGGHH!!!

CROCK POT RECIPE RECAP

{Welcome to} Tere's (never quite "normal") World: WWTK - What's Cookin?! wk48:

Question was {4}Myya @ http://myyasays.blogspot.com/ wants to know:

What is your favorite Crock Pot Recipe?

I usually marinate chicken wings in pomegranate chipotle and strawberry rhubarb sauce

I was looking back at my posts and comments. I had several people comment on the Crock Pot Recipe.

Let me tell you more.

Ingredients:

Tastefully Simple Pomegranate Chipotle Sauce

Tastefully Simple Rhubarb Strawberry Fruit Spread

Chicken Wings

The two sauces are from Tastefully Simple and are great. The Pomegranate Chipolte Sauce is kinda sweet, with a smokiness and mild bite. The Rhubarb Strawberry Fruit Spread is sweet.

I blend them in whatever ratios I am hungry for, until is tastes good.

I buy chicken wings. It doesn't matter what type. If they are frozen, I thaw them and then I precook them, but not overcook them or they get tough and dry. At they are getting done, I baste them in the sauce, to keep them moist.

I cook them a little longer and then I put them in the crock pot and cover them with the sauce.

They are always a hit!!!! And easy to make. The only thing I have as leftovers on this... is the dirty crock pot!