Struggle today

I'm pacing and my mind is wandering.

This morning my son called me out on the calories I watch and that he is aware that I don't eat enough.

It's been hard. I am mentally struggling with do much right now. I don't feel good and that doesn't help.

I know I will be fine but I am having issues internally.

My mom called me out on the calories the other day and today my son did the same thing.

I don't feel like I'm starving but my family does. I wish I could understand all these feelings.

pain to power... good or bad

I have a problem.
I take something that has caused me pain and hurt, stewed on it, dwelled over it, and then used the festered anger to drive a power.
I use it to make myself do things. To force me to suck it up. To push myself to limits... healthy, safe, or not.
I can't explain it but its pain that lingers inside with nowhere to go. I use it to drive me, to push me, to fuel me.
Am I the only one who has these driving forces?

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