Makeup and dress up

I have a dinner to attend tonight. I'm dressed up (new dress), with makeup , my hair is down, and I got dressed, feeling pretty.

In the last hour, I suddenly don't feel as pretty. I look at myself in the mirror and am not happy with who I am. I feel like I suddenly am fat and ugly. I'm alone DND sad.

I hard events where I feel alone. All by myself.

All alone... And ugly....

Difficult

Holidays of any type are hard.

Next week will he 5 years since I list my brother. Today is Father's Day and I miss my dad  my ex has left my sons life so he doesn't get Father's Day. 

I look at photos of pretty, thin, sexy women and feel so entirely fat, ugly and disgusting. I want to disappear. I hate how I feel. I wish I could find happiness but I am struggling so hard.

Mentally stressed

I keep looking at photos of thin, pretty women and wishing I could look like them. I want to be thin and pretty, or at least thought of as kinda sexy. I wish I had someone to hold me and cuddle with me, but I'm having no luck. I'm depressed and lonely. My sister is coming up town and I haven't seen her for a couple years. I have lost a considerable amount of weight since I saw her last, but I am not where I wish I was. I need to lose more weight. I am not thin enough or pretty enough. I am so upset with myself right now. I feel fat and ugly, homely and alone. What is wrong with me?

What happened?

Do you have any idea what you are doing to me? To my mind? To my heart?

We used to have the best between us. I was under the impression that we still do but you make me feel like shit. You walk by me without speaking. You don't include me in conversations. And the list goes on. I wish you could see what you are doing to me. You have no idea how I interpret this. I already have a body image that is down the tubes and then, when you seem to not see me, I feel like hell. I feel like I am no longer pretty or attractive. I don't feel like you miss me when we are apart. Do you still think about me? Do you still miss me? You tell me you do, but how true are you? Why do I not believe you? You have crushed my heart and messed up my brain. I thought I was someone but when you suddenly change your attitude, it hits me right in the heart. I feel even fatter, uglier, lonlier, depressed. You don't understand that, what I have suffered with every day of my life, comes back to haunt me with each of these motions you make. You can't seem to see that you are tearing me apart and tearing everything about me apart. I don't feel like I can ever trust what people, or do. I can only say that they are fronts, to keep from hurting my feelings.

Depressed...

I am not sure what is going through my head. I am stressed, I am frustrated, I am lost, I am lonely, I am tired. I don't want to sing to the radio. I don't feel like laughing. I came home from work and quietly ate dinner. I then went and laid down with my cat and fell asleep. I don't have much to say. My son is worried. He doesn't understand what is wrong or why I am so quiet. I can't really explain this to him. I don't know what is wrong or why I feel like I do. Part of me feels lost inside, lonely, and sad. I don't want to socialize. If I could, I would curl up and stay in bed. I wish I didn't feel this way.

not up to par

I am exhausted and not feeling like it is worth anything. Have you ever felt down, wanting to cry, just overly unhappy? I am stressed and frustrated, angry and depressed, lonely and confused. Why do I feel this way? What is wrong with me?

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little black dress

Will I ever own one? Need I say more?

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Lonely

I am going to be an old woman who lives with lots of cats and becomes scrooge at christmas. I hate the holidays and feeling so alone. What is wrong with me?

Bah humbug!

Frustrating. I really don't like the holidays. They depress me. I spend them alone, no one to hug or kiss, or even snuggle with. I hate feeling lost and alone.

I am my own worst enemy

The more I think, the worse I get, the more my mind wanders and the more I start to kill myself inside. I am at fault no matter what. Why did I do this myself? Why do you tear me apart like this?

GUYS!

Why does guys tend to look for and fall for the ones that are really pretty or hot, but they may be dumber than a stump??? What is it? Is it an easy score? I don't flippin' understand! WTF???????

A missed opportunity

Have you ever gone back and wondered if you missed something that might have been?

Alone alone alone

I totally hate everything today. I feel like I am so alone!

Lost and Alone

I feel lost. I feel as though I am no longer important.

My love

I miss you my love. I wish we could be together tonight.