Life on Auto Pilot

Lately, I've been living my life day by day, moving along as if I am on auto-pilot - no idea how I get where I'm going, but I get there. Not sure why my body feels numb and why I feel like everything I do is wrong. It's been a ride and part of me wants to get off - my chest hurts, my head hurts, my inner being hurts. I want to curl up in a corner and let the world go on without me. I am not sure what I think or feel anymore. I feel numb... and numb is the word for it. As I sit here and type, my arms feel heavy and my chest feels tight. I am not sure who I am right now, or what comes next? Is it time to break away? Should I make a change? Am I taking too much to heart? Taking too much personally? Do I give too much of myself? Do I expect too much of me? This numb heaviness won't go away and I am scared and confused...

The Rollercoaster

This week has been an emotional roller coaster for me and I am not sure which way is good anymore - should I be flying backwards at warp speed, not seeing where I am going? Should I be climbing the highest hill, scared to death? Should I be tearing downward, toward earth, screaming? Should I be standing on the platform, not sure what to expect? Should I be standing on the ground, just an observer?