Old habits

Are hard to break

No matter how old 

Or how bad

Or how painful

pain to power... good or bad

I have a problem.
I take something that has caused me pain and hurt, stewed on it, dwelled over it, and then used the festered anger to drive a power.
I use it to make myself do things. To force me to suck it up. To push myself to limits... healthy, safe, or not.
I can't explain it but its pain that lingers inside with nowhere to go. I use it to drive me, to push me, to fuel me.
Am I the only one who has these driving forces?

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