21 December 2012
I am just stopping by to wish everyone a happy holiday season, which has suddenly happened upon us!
Just wanted to give you an insight as to how my world is going...
I have started logging my food, amping up my exercise and am down about 20#. Woo hoo!! Thrilled silly, but it is starting to catch up with me and my body is suddenly feeling really exhausted. I guess I really need to slow down and make sure I'm taking care of myself.
I have completed another course in school and am (hopefully) looking at only maybe 10 more months before I hit my degree!
My new job is awesome. I love it... the people are great... and I am glad I went through the strife of change... which I am totally against! From those I used to work with, I have found the job that so many wish they could be experiencing.
Other than that, we have snow for Christmas... it waited until late Wednesday night... and now we are good to go... and, in my eyes, it can go.... the day after Christmas! Bah Humbug!
My son is doing well in school... we are halfway through this year and no issue with bullying or other problems... this is good.
And the daily stuff keeps chugging.
Hope each of you are well and ready to celebrate the holidays.
Wishing everyone a safe and joyous holiday season, if I don't get back here before then.
24 November 2012
Www.myfitnesspal.com is awesome. I have had to restart using it three times (at least) but now I'm on a roll.
If you have a smartphone or iPad, you can scan barcodes and get nutritional values... Makes it so much easier than trying to input them... Or look them up!
You can document meals, foods, your own recipes, weight, measurements, plus there are discussion forums and individual blogs.
It's free... Give it a shot.
22 November 2012
Got up this morning and was up 0.2#
Not happy, but guess I will live.
Got up and went to the gym. Worked out and it felt good. I am truly not sure who I am or what I feel, but it will all get clearer, I'm sure.
I will need to watch my intake tonight and not overdo it. Maybe a day of eating a little more won't kill me. In my mind, yes, but in reality, probably not!
20 November 2012
Am walking a break, journaling my food, trying to walk at lunch.... And them hitting the gym.
Journaling and eating only food with labels is really helping. Makes me more aware.
I know I can do this, but I need to focus.
18 November 2012
14 November 2012
He makes me smile, makes me laugh, and pushes me to my limits.
If I hated him so much, I wound't keep going back... and I wouldn't pay for his training.
He is so down to earth and when he is pushing my abilities, I don't question him... maybe give him funny looks, but I plow on.
I did notice though, that when he was stretching my muscles out last night, I was in my own world... no one around me but him...
I don't need excess to curvive and I need to know what I'm eating.
My new thing, starting this morning, is if I don't know the calories, I don't eat it.
Need to keep that mentality and hold myself accountable.
So far today, so good.
I feel good, not stuffed or bloated...
this might actually work...
13 November 2012
If she can be 5'10" and weight 145lbs, why can't I?
I guess I need to look at the weight and the body structure... but I'm only 5'8" and I am no where near 145lbs.
My idea weight is 145-165... and right now, in this mood, I would KILL to be in that range.
I have been training and working out, and watching my food, but I feel like hell.
I am sad. I hate the holidays... and now I feel even fatter with the holidays coming.
05 November 2012
For breakfast I had my egg sandwich on a white bagels, instead of wheat bread. I had hunger cravings so bad all day.
Is it because of the white bread versus the whole wheat? Does whole wheat cause those silly cravings? Or just the white?
04 October 2012
01 October 2012
I guess I need to take it to extremes.... Gotta do what I've gotta do... I'm a mom....
26 September 2012
Between now and "then", there are events happening I need to work toward... My birthday, the holidays, the Christmas party at my new job, and the hopes of finding inner happiness.
I know if I put my mind to it, I can do it. I just have to stick with it.
19 September 2012
Anyway, I have a conundrum! I am trying to watch what I an eating and doing the whole "sensa" thing, but I am struggling with something... carbs... CARBS! They hate me... and they are not my friend.
I NEED GUIDANCE... FROM ANYONE WHO HAS RUN INTO THIS SITUATION...
I am a carb junkie... and I am working to cut them out... which is all good... but the lack of carbs make me tired. Is this correct? Or is it in my head? (I have been told it's mind over matter)... but anyway... I love oatmeal and bagels, but I find that if I eat these things in the morning, I crave all day long... I can eat constantly. Is my blood sugar spiking? What is happening?
I am having a meltdown with all these feelings... I had oatmeal this morning and am totally hating myself right now!
15 September 2012
12 September 2012
10 September 2012
I love the job, the people are great, but battling the high school drop off carpool line sucks... And stresses me out. Can't get used to sleeping in so the cats and I are up at the crack of dawn. Everyone else is up so they are in my space. And the list goes on. Maybe someday it will flow... But don't know when...
01 September 2012
29 August 2012
After the bad day on the scale, I need to get back on track.
I will keep you updated.
28 August 2012
26 August 2012
25 August 2012
19 August 2012
15 August 2012
13 August 2012
06 August 2012
05 August 2012
03 August 2012
01 August 2012
28 July 2012
27 July 2012
25 July 2012
22 July 2012
16 July 2012
06 July 2012
01 July 2012
28 June 2012
24 June 2012
Love my boss, but no respect. Have not had a "required" review in the last six years and 2% raise doesn't pay the bills.
Either step up to the plate or forget it.
More to follow, hoping for the best...
Keep me in your thoughts and prayers.
Love you guys!
23 June 2012
17 June 2012
16 June 2012
12 June 2012
10 June 2012
06 June 2012
Okay, anyway, back to the topic... I love to write and used to fill notebooks with all sorts of things... from my crushes, to my stress, to my eating disorder cycles, to whatever came to mind. It was my outlet, my release, my therapy... and I was pretty damn good at it... not to mention I would never run out of notebooks or writing instruments because I consider one of my "other homes" the office supply store down the street!
But then, one day, it was compromised and I could no longer trust people. What happened was that my (now ex) husband would go through my stuff, including my car, and be nosy, when I wasn't around or when I was sleeping. He did not seem to understand the meaning of "privacy" which lead of much of my distress. He confronted me about my journals and what was written in them... and then to make it worse, he photocopied them to keep readily handy. When I found out, I went psycho! OMG! I am not sure if, at that point, I was more in disbelief that he did it, betrayed that he would think about it, pissed that he went through my personal stuff, or wanting to bitch slap him for just all of the above!
At that point, it became VERY difficult to write... anything... I was upset, angry, distraught, frustrated, beside myself... you name it, I was there. I still, even after all these years, have difficulty putting words physically on to paper. I am afraid it will lead me to hurt and betrayal, yet again. Now, I still have a sense of anonymity but I can "talk" and "chat" with people who only know me for who I am and understand that not everyone is alone and that we all have some type of insecurities.
I would love to write again. I want to. But I can't bring myself to do it. My heart and my mind can't agree on actually doing it. Maybe someday... maybe not... who knows...
02 June 2012
01 June 2012
31 May 2012
If you had to choose a Disney princess to live the rest of your life as...which princess would you choose and why?