25 October 2011

long week

Going on vacation - first in over a decade. Never had the money or justification. Now I want my child to have fun and good memories, and I want to be happy. Too bad I feel like hell, am stressed, and hate the world. I want my son to be proud of me. Will that ever happen?
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24 October 2011

Have you ever been disappointed?

Have you ever had a time when you did something awesome? Something you worked hard on? Something that was a huge accomplishment?

One of those things that you want to scream and shout and put on a billboard, saying “I DID IT”? But you are one of those people who don’t like to blow your own horn, or draw attention to yourself?

You know that there are people that know you succeeded. But, of all the people who know, the one person who you would like to get a “congratulations” from, is one that doesn’t say a word.

I am so disappointed. It hurts inside. I spent so much time and effort to come this far, and that one person can’t even tell me “good job”.

I am wondering… could it be jealousy? Could it be concern?

Why can’t they just tell me I did good?

I am even that important to them?

22 October 2011

my horoscope for today

Today's horoscope is so true...
Do you follow your horoscope?

Copyright (c) DailyHoroscope.
Download it now -- http://bit.ly/DHmobile'>Scorpio horoscope for Oct 22 2011 by DailyHoroscope (http://bit.ly/DHmobile)
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kitty cat with allergies

Our Kitty has allergies. She gets stuffed up and her nose drips. She sneezes green snot and man, she sneezes!!! He eyes get icky and I feel so bad for her. She's my old lady Kitty. The crusties in her eyes are gross and her eye is sore, where the scab pulled the fur off. Ouch. I feel so bad for my baby. Now she is curled up on her blankie and snuffing.
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21 October 2011


How sad.... one lone tulip. I don't even remember planting there... chipmunks or squirrels??
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Two-tone mums. Awesome colors.
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I love flowers... they brighten my day.
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Damned if you do, damned if you don’t

Have you been in a situation where, no matter what you do or how you do it, someone is gonna be pissed, and somehow, you will be the one who ends up getting busted for it?

I am in a predicament. I need to work, everyday, to keep my sanity. But damn, there are days when I really wish I didn’t have to have contact with the outside world, as they drive me crazy!

I am one of these obsessive types who take what is handed to me and bust my ass until it’s done. I absolutely hate asking for help and sometimes, it’s just easier to do it myself than to try to delegate it.

I get yelled at when I don’t delegate because I am too busy and am already spread too thin. But then when I do delegate, I get in trouble because I get all the initial contacts.


I can’t seem to win and some days, I just want to scream, but that is not appropriate for a lady, nor is it professionally politically-correct.

I do my job. I love my job. I need to keep busy. I hate asking for help. I strive to be the best. I need to do the best I can. I don’t try to dump on others. I don’t rely on others (as I always get let down). And I don’t expect anything from anyone else (because I am one of those strange people who don’t want to impose by asking for help).

Follow Friday Four Fill-in Fun Blog Hop! - Feeling Beachie

This week’s statements:
  1. I am afraid of____
  2. My ___ is my favorite room of my house
  3. The last time I _____ I couldn’t ______.
  4. I got my first _____ when I was ____.


1. I am afraid of heights.
2. My bedroom is my favorite room of my house
3. The last time I had time for me, I couldn't believe it.
4. I got my first cellphone when I was 25.

17 October 2011

What ‘cha doin’?

Ok, so that is a routine question in my house… and it is not primarily from Phineas and Ferb… it is from my son – a teenager with obsessive tendencies. He has to be in the middle of things and can hear a conversation from across the room, but can’t seem to hear me from across the kitchen table when I ask him to use his fork, not his fingers, or to use his napkin, not his pants.
I spend all day at work, trying to get things down on the computer and answering the phone. I get enough interruptions and distractions. The last thing I want to do is come up, with good intentions of going on the computer and accomplishing something other than work, school, or church. I used to have a social life, I used to facebook, I used to tweet, I used to blog, but lately, distractions keep me sidetracked. I love my child, but it really bugs me when I am trying to do something and he is continually coming in and asking “What ‘cha doin’?” Or, even worse, stands over my shoulder to see what I am doing. I know that if I did that to him, he would flip a gasket! And when it isn’t him, it’s Grandma. Yes, she does the same thing. She has no clue on computers or the internet, but standing over my shoulder is her part-time job apparently.
Sometimes, I even wonder if the cats have the same thoughts? Especially as they stand on top of me and stare down at me, with that “look” on their face.  Can you imagine your cat staring down at you and suddenly saying “What ‘cha doin’?” Yep, I can!!!! (If you knew my cats, you would think so too.)
Why can’t a girl get some time alone? Oh yea, trust me, even the bathroom is not a sacred place… no one needs it until I am in there, nor does anyone want to talk to me until that same time. Maybe that is why the cats hang in the bathroom with me when I’m getting dressed or taking a bath? For the seclusion? Who knows… maybe.

13 October 2011


Okay, lost it today. Second time in 2 weeks, but this meltdown was open to the public. I was so upset!!!!

I felt like I had been openly attacked verbally and it pissed me off. I put my faith in someone I trust and bust my ass to work hard... and he kicks my knees out from under me.

I don't handle that well. I can hold my own, and trust me, I am one bull-headed english-woman who doesn't take shit when getting pushed.

The worst part about the verbal attack in front of over half-dozen peers, is that the response was "I don't understand why you are taking this so personal?"

I almost snapped right then and there!!!!
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11 October 2011

Long day... now what?

I have spent a very long day at work, in front of of computer, accomplishing pretty close to nothing! I just felt burnt. This is a week of only one or two slow downs, otherwise I am flying wild! I can't keep doing this and something has to give.
I am going on vacation in a few weeks and I am supposed to bring a swim suit... ewwwww! Okay, so I feel fat and gross. I tried a detox cleanser and I feel like hell. I came home tonight and ate dinner. The dinner was gross and tasted like hell. Now I am having a glass of wine... so time to go to bed...
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10 things NOT to ask your spouse…

Let’s see, I’ve been married and divorced… so this should be a rather easy list, but then again… (this is not in any specific order…)

1. Can you please pick your dirty clothes up off the floor?
2. When are you going to mow the lawn?
3. Can I borrow some money?
4. Do we have to have pizza again tonight?
5. When you spill, can you please clean it up?
6. What time will you be home?
7. You spent HOW MUCH?!
8. Do you really need another tool?
9. Can you please take out the garbage?
10. What would possess you to do something so stupid????

08 October 2011

fat and a failure

I bought a body detox kit. Ten days of this stuff and I feel like hell. Fay and bloated. Gross.
Now what? My vacation is just a couple weeks away.... now Im depressed.
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