Abusive Relationship?

A fellow blogger posted this on her page and I felt like it is something that deserves reposting.

The following questions ask you about your relationship. If you are not currently in a relationship, these are signs or “red flags” to assist people in identifying a potentially abusive person.

* Do you feel nervous around your partner?
* Do you have to be careful to control your behavior to avoid your partner’s anger?
* Do you feel pressured by your partner when it comes to sex?
* Are you scared of disagreeing with your partner?
* Does your partner criticize you, or humiliate you in front of other people?
* Is your partner always checking up on you or questioning you about what you do without your partner?
* Does your partner repeatedly and wrongly accuse you of seeing or flirting with other people?
* Does your partner tell you that if you changed, he or she wouldn’t treat you like this?
* Does your partner’s jealousy stop you from seeing friends or family?
* Does your partner make you feel like you are wrong, stupid, crazy, or inadequate?
* Has your partner ever scared you with violence or threatening behavior?
* Does your partner say, “I will kill myself if you break up with me” or “I will hurt/kill you if you break up with me”?
* Does your partner make excuses for the abusive behavior? For example: saying, “It’s because of alcohol or drugs,” or “I can’t control my temper,” or “I was just joking”?

You do not deserve to be abused. Create a safety plan or call someone to talk about your relationship. You may also want to contact the police or a local domestic violence center or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-SAFE.

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RemembeRed - week of 11.07.11

But in the spirit of relationships that we all knew wouldn’t work, we’d like for you to write about one you knew was doomed from the start... DOOMED!!!

The relationship was mine. I found that you truly do not know everything about a person until you have said those two little worlds “I Do” and then everything seems to take a turn from there.

Before we were married, he was a great person, caring, loving, giving, and respectful. Once we were married, my world spun counter-clockwise. I found out that he had a problem with gambling and bookies. He also had problems with illegal and prescription drugs. Oh, yes, and let us not forget the parole agent and the local police department, and the county jail system.

Had I known… I may have taken a different path in my life, at that point, but then again, maybe I wouldn’t have. I have learned what to do, what not to do, how to handle myself, how to stay a strong mom, how to stand up for myself, and how to be the best I can be.

The lesson I learned was a difficult one, but one that so many others have learned from also.