31 May 2012

If I could be a Pretty, pretty Princess...

Mama’s Losin’ It
If you had to choose a Disney princess to live the rest of your life as...which princess would you choose and why?

Princess Belle.jpg

Belle... of course.
She lives to look after others (her dad). She attracts oddities (Gaston), She prefers the sanctity of her life.
I feel like Belle in so many ways, too bad I can't be beautiful and find happiness.
I think Belle is pretty, smart, dresses beautifully, has a great personality, and is very true to herself.


30 May 2012

Yeah well, so, I guess I will live... at least till tomorrow

Had to go to the orthopaedic doctor today. Been having trouble with my "good" ankle. Sharp pains that wake me up. On and off. Suddenly sharp and then numb.

The nice doctor told me I would live.

Narrowed it down after x-rays. One spur on my heel, one on the bottom of my foot. And a swollen Achilles tendon. Great. At least I don't have to give up working out... Or wearing my 3 & 4-inch heels.

And the extra time I spent sitting in the doctors office, I was able to get my readings done for school.

Tonight is another dose of allergy meds and early to bed. I have been fighting allergies since Friday...

If I wake up in the morning, I have to do a training workout tomorrow evening. At that point, I will physically die... Of exhaustion and pain... But the trainer is a cutie... Sometimes you have to make compromises!

Good night. Sweet dreams. Until tomorrow....

Tag... You're It!!!! DAMNIT!

I was tagged days ago by Magical Mystical MiMi, to participate in this meme called, 'Tag You're It." Oh what the hell, might as well give it a shot... I will probably be sorry though!

#1 Rule - You must post these rules.
#2 Rule - You must post 11 things about yourself.
#3 Rule - You must a.) Answer the ques­tions the tag­ger set for you in their post. And b.) Cre­ate 11 new ques­tions for the peo­ple you tag to answer.
#4 Rule - You must choose 11 peo­ple to tag and link them on the post. Then, go to their page and tell them you have linked him/her.
***No tag backs to the bloggee that tagged you!***

1 - I am obsessive-compulsive
2 - I do not have a bucket-list yet
3 - I am happy with my one child
4 - I am currently single... and not looking
5 - I love animals
6 - I can't sit still
7 - I can pass up chocolate by choice
8 - I keep myself too busy sometimes
9 - Myself is the last person I look out for
10 - I don't like how I look
11 - I am happy to get to the gym and work out

1 - First date - Who, where, when? I don't remember... that was eons ago!
2 - First kiss - Who, where, when? Hmmmm....
3 - First car - What make, model, year? 1977 Ford Maverick
4 - First boyfriend/girlfriend - How old were you? Their name? Mike, I was 22
5 - First job - Where, when and what did you do? Papergirl, 13 years old
6 - First road trip - Where, when and who did you take along? Up north, all my life, 7 hrs
7 - First funeral - Who, where and how old were you? Don't remember
8 - First concert - Who did you see, where and how old were you? Motley Crue, 16.
9 - Favorite sexual position? - HA! Just tossed a curve ball. Yeah... NOT! ;)
You don't have to answer, unless of course you want to!
10 - First thought this morning. Awww man... I really want ten more minutes.
11 - Last thought last night. Ahhhhh... *blank*

11 PEOPLE I AM TAGGING: (no particular order...)
1 - Susi @ Boca Frau
2 - Kim @ My Inner Chick
3 - Monica @ Life As I Know It
4 - VandyJ @ The Testosterone Three and Me
5 - Mamarazzi @ Dandelion Wishes
6 - Gia @ Mayor Gia
7 - Hilary @ Feeling Beachie
8 - Robbie K @ Fractured Family Tales
9 - Andrey N @ Break It, Make It or Bake It
10 - TLouise @ My Musings
11 - Destiny @ Rock' Mama

MY 11 QUESTIONS TO YOU: (just two items? Answer how you wish. Whatever spin you want to take on them...)
1 - Walmart or Target?
2 - Books or Magazines?
3- Shoes or Bare Feet?
4 - Short sleeves or long sleeves?
5 - Red meat or white meat?
6 - Wine or beer?
7 - Coffee or tea?
8 - Water or soda?
9 - Laptop or desktop?
10 - Indoors or outdoors?
11 -Junk food or healthy?

28 May 2012

my newest creation... for me

During a few minutes of free time...this is my creation... And therapy.

memorial day - In Memory...

Memorial day honors our veterans, those who served, and those in the military.

I couldn't help but think about my brother who passed away a couple years ago. He was in the Marines and had a military burial. It's being in the front row of a military burial that put pictures in your mind that don't fade.

I remember the marines in their dress blues and white gloves. The crisp flag folding, the salutes... If brings tears to my eyes.

I believe in our military and what they do. Honor them when you get the chance.

27 May 2012

lazy sucker today

Too warm, slept miserable, was at church early... Skipping today's workout. But its set for first thing tomorrow morning.

you know ur getting old..

When you have to put on your old lady reading glasses to polish your nails!!!! Ugh!!

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25 May 2012

Too Much Time to Think

Source:   Pinterest

Source:  Pinterest

Reality - stress - work - stress

Saw this... love this...had to repost it!


Finally Friday - woo hoo!

It is finally Friday... and I can't be more glad! Although, it is still early and my day is already going to hell.

I was up and down all night, so I slept for shit. My child woke up in a snarky mood this morning, so I couldn't seem to get out of the house fast enough.

I have a headache and my eyes don't want to focus... which only tends to lead to the explosive migraine is approximately 20 minutes (can you tell I've had these before?).

It's the Friday before a holiday weekend, so we are on a small staff... great... that is going to totally suck! As if I can't get anything done with everyone here... I won't be able to get anything done with no one here. 

I am going to try to stay in my office, accomplish at least one thing (and that is a big task at this point), and move on to the weekend.

But, knowing my luck... and unforeseen circumstances... I won't happen!!!!!! Trust me... I'm not making wagers and I am not holding my breath... or I will be broke... and dead!

Wishing everyone a good Friday. Enjoy!

23 May 2012

today bothered me... and so did she!

She had to open her mouth... (surprise!!)  She basically told me I made a big mistake. At that point, I was faced with an overwhelming urge to bitch slap her, but I didn't. I was mature and said nothing! I so badly wanted to smack her, but I didn't.

I refrained from letting my "Ms. Nasty" out!

Next time she might not be so lucky!

Wednesday Whirlwind

maturity is hard to come by somedays

Takes more maturity to walk away than to sink to their level.

Remember that!

Welcome Wednesday Blog Hop

Following Haute Mom with the Welcome Wednesday Blog Hop

Protein Bars

Chocolate Deluxe 50 g 50 g Bars

Tried a new protein bar. Thought it looked yummy.

I have always had issues with them being dry, or hard, or just plain... YUCK!

Well, this one looked good, but don't think I will try it again.

Good flavor, but the texture is gritty. I am not fond of it. It's not as bad as some I have had, but it's not as good as others. It's a solid bar, not dry... just gritty.

 It's up to you... and a matter of personal preference...


19 May 2012

body image... or lack of it... and you're the cause

I have kept in touch with my first ex-boyfriend.

We were talking and I mentioned I had been at the gym.

He asked me "why" and then told me I "don't need to because he thinks I look good".

It doesn't click that part of the body image issue stems from him cheating on my with someone over twice my size.

No clue... And I'm not going to explain!

18 May 2012

Never Growing Old

Feeling like following Java on Friday!


Friday Confessonal 5/18/12


I Confess...  I have NO patience for STUPID PEOPLE!!!!

I Confess...  I have NO patience for people who are INCONSIDERATE!

I Confess... I feel like hell today and will give anyone the evil eye if they get in my way...

I Confess... I cannot wait until today is over!

17 May 2012


Ya know... when a boss leaves the building, shouldn't he let the dept know that he is going? In case something important comes up? Nope, not this one. Leaves, tells one person (who doesn't tell anyone unless asked), and that's it.

It is coming up on lunch time. I have to figure what I am going to eat... but I have personal training tonight, so I need to eat something decent... and I truly need to get the "f" out of this place today.

Pent up anxiety and stress... so not good. Life will get better... can't get much worse... I can do this...


16 May 2012

wordless Wednesday

Look into my eyes....

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wordless Wednesday - lunch


Been so busy. Haven't been to the gym since Saturday, but I haven't been sitting still. Tomorrow I'm working an hour with the trainer. I'm my mind I feel I should go tonight, but I am burnt and it wouldn't be the best. I am going to hang out and get to bed early. I guess I need to let my body recoup before pushing myself. (I might be learning something... Believe it or not!)

15 May 2012

Swimming Suits

I now understand why I do not buy swimming suits... I hate it... I would much rather go to the doctor.

I joined a gym, it has a pool. I have a suit, but it's two pieces... great to splash in, not sure how well you can swim laps in it.

Anyway... Tried on a one-piece, didn't go over my hips... what the hell? Returned it. Decided on maybe one of those two-piece with the full top. Found one that would cover the tummy I dislike and I feel okay in... that fit.
Mossimo® Womens Plus-Size Two-Pc. Mix & Match Brief Swimsuit - Assorted Colors.Opens in a new window.

Oh yes, but it is obviously not designed to actually SWIM in! (if know know what I mean!) 

So I went to get a new one-piece, for actually swimming. Oh yea, by body is SOOOO not meant for one-piece suits. If I finally get one with way they are cut, I might as well stick a beach ball in it because I feel like an oompa loompa. 

Who the hell designs these suits anyway?????? Men? Okay, so either the one-piece are cut to be slimmer at the waist and ya can't get them over the hips... or they have the "slender fibers" and you feel like you are in a lycra tube and can't breath. Or... you get a two piece.. mind you, many of which are not designed for swimming or any type of physical activity.  Okay, so I found a different "top" that has more "support" and (praying) I might be able to actually swim in it. Wish me luck.

And there is my old one-piece suit. It's well worn and starting to get old. I needed something new. I took it to the gym with me, as I wear it when we go to the hotel, but it's been 2 years. I put it on and I swear it felt like all the elastic was gone. In my frame of mind, I figured the elastic in the material dry-rotted, cuz when I put it all, it was baggy and gross. I automatically took it off and figured it was ready for the donation pile. It wasn't until 3 days later that it actually crossed my mind that maybe I have gotten smaller and not the suit losing it's elastic. I have been working out. I haven't worn it for 2 years. Maybe it's my body, not the suit. Guess I will have to go home and try it on and find out for sure.

Have I told you how much I HATE Swimming Suits!!!!!!????

read to be read at yeahwrite.me

14 May 2012

05.14.12 Monday Listicles


1.  Someone who loves me unconditionally

2.  Someone who isn't afraid to tell me I'm a dork.

3.  Someone who looks up to me for who I am.

4.  An empty (or emptier) bank account

5.  A reason to spend more time at the store, shopping

6.  A reason to learn the rules of Lasertag

7.  Someone to explain the new trends to me.

8.  Someone who thinks I'm cool, even if I am mom

9.  Someone who always want to tell me about his day.

10.  Someone who gets breakfast made for me.

13 May 2012

mixed signals

I know you shouldn't want me... And I shouldn't want you. But it's mutual. We both care, but I get so mad. You don't talk to me, you seem to ignore me. I get so angry. You don't include me. You seem to have others who mean more to you. Can't you see I am frustrated and angry? I know we can't discuss it, but please... Give me hope... Even a smile

12 May 2012


Went to a banquet tonight. Didn't want to go but no choice.

I chose my salad (which I would have been fine with...) But I had rice with some beef (but not enough according to others). I went to the table and eat.

Mom growled that she thought I was hungry... And I hadn't eaten all my beef.

First... I was working on my salad (which would have been fine except mom paid for dinner) and the beef was salty (although she swears it wasn't).

I just wanted to come home...

I then was handed a square of cheesecake.

Oh please! Grrrrr. I ate part of the chocolate off the top, the raspberry gel and a few bites of the cheesecake. Too rich. Done.

I finally came home.... Feeling absolutely miserable and gross! I so do not want to so that again!

11 May 2012

Follow Friday 40 and Over


I wonder if I could write a memoir of my life... and all the sh*t that has gone on it?

Would I really want to tell the world how much of a nutcase I really am?

It's bad enough I blog it!!!!


It's Friday - I made it... wooo hooo.... it has been a long one and the road had really gone up and down this week.

My son has been dealing with allergies, so he has been a beast (to put it nicely), mom is another year older... so that just goes to speak for itself... work has been busy... I am still waiting on the the golden chariot to pull up and take me away... 

and for them to call the winning lottery ticket... or even Willy Wonka's Golden Ticket... who wouldn't be able to live in a world filled with lots of candy, giant eggs, and a chocolate stream??? 

Anyway... off track... kinda... but not too far...

I am feeling out of sorts... the doctor has me on a second anti-d med, to help balance out the one the FDA was nice enough to lower the available dosage on. This new one helps to keep me focused and keep dep from going through my head.  I am also on the occasional anxiety dose, to keep me from panic-attack mode... when my chest gets tight and I can't breath. (Serious dude, I am SUCH a mess!!!)

I missed my second anti-d this morning, due to a series of not-typical-routine snafus. I finally took my lunch dose... but focus suck right now... I am working at doing about 12 things. My desk looks like Dorothy & Toto's trip OUT of Kansas... and my mind feels like it is going down the rabbit hole with Alice and the White Rabbit. Wow. What an F'd up day!  I don't understand it... and now that I am flipping all over like ... well, Flipper... my chest is getting tight and I can't see straight.

Yep, just shoot me now. I guess if I'm gonna melt down... I might as well go all the way!!!!!!

Wow. That's all I can say!

09 May 2012

Welcome Wednesday Blog Hop

Mr. J is acting strange

He was on vacation - it was actually very peaceful (I am sorry to admit).

He came back and it seemed like he was being is normal self. I was tired of feeling dumped on and treated like the only time I existed was when anyone needed something.

I have been dealing with so many mixed emotions and feelings lately, that I am truly not sure what  is going through my head.

Then suddenly, in the past week or so, he has started to act differently... towards me. He has been including me and sending me messages to say hi. He has been making an effort to make sure I know what is happening and that I am involved when I need to be. It's strange. Almost as if something has snapped along the way.

Has he noticed my mood? Has he noticed that I just sit back and do what I need to do? Does he know that I am unhappy? That I am stressed? That I am so done with all the childishness and bs? That I am looking elsewhere? That I want to be appreciated?

I wonder? Does he realize what would happen if I said goodbye? Maybe he does. I don't believe it can be a coincidence... 

We will see... I will let you know what goes on...

08 May 2012

Yesterday was burger day


Yes, I did it. Yesterday, I went and had my burger and fries. You would have thought I haven't had one for centuries, but it truly hasn't been that long.

Anyway, I left and decided to actually eat it there... instead of bringing it back, making a mess on my desk, and having to chew between the ringing of the phone.

I ordered my burger - sloppy, with cheese, and everything else... tomato, lettuce, onion... and fries... with ketchup... lots of ketchup...

I sat down and relaxed, even if it was only 20 minutes or so. The sandwich was messy, but the ketchup with the fries tasted good. I ate it... at least most of it. Okay, I admit - the burger was not as profound as I had it in my mind. It just didn't have the "wow" I was imagining... I was kinda sad. I blew the calories and fat on something that just didn't really fill my craving. Bummer dude!

Now I was stuffed, sad, and kinda miserable... so I decided to clean up my spot, refill my diet soda, and go back to work...

07 May 2012

Not Fond of Mondays...

Got up late today and am still recovering.

The weekend started off with the nonstop running on Thursday...

Worked both jobs Friday, for a 19- hour day.

Saturday, I went to the gym, picked up my son, and then did a family church thing. After which, I took a nap before making 3 corsages (mind you I am not a professional floral person). Went to bed.

Got up to work at church, get my confirmation students through confirm, and move on. We then got hit with thunder, lightning, and heavy rain. I'm not afraid of rain... I do not melt (trust me... I have tried - no such luck!) Came home, took a nap. Went grocery shopping... Took another nap, and then did homework. (my body will continue to run until I stop... Then I crash hard.)

Woke up late this morning. Decided lunch was "my time". Normally I grab something and then work & eat at my desk. Today I went out... And spent 30 minutes for me. Sandwich didn't taste like I craved, so I was disappointed... Not to mention the fat & calories I ate. Finished work then came home. Went to the gym, it was so busy... Didn't get to do my routine. My son wasn't feeling well so we cut it short. Saw a friend of mine who has totally slimmed down, so now I am feeling fat and depressed.

I am curled up with my kitty cats and getting ready for bed.

Today had highs and lows. I don't like it. I don't take pride in the highs, but I let the lows kick me to the curb.

I am so NOT fond of Mondays!

I can only hope tomorrow is better. Trust me, I don't thinly it cam ne much worse!

04 May 2012

Food Obsessed

I have come to the conclusion that I am obsessed with food and what I eat.

Although I don't always feel that way, like when I sit and have a couple glasses of wine, or a few small pieces of chocolate, but it's been getting pretty weird lately.

Yesterday, I was hungry for something for lunch, but not quite sure what. My brain started this conversation with myself about 10:30 or so... I take lunch at 11am. Anyway, I had to think about it because I knew we wouldn't be eating dinner until later because my son and I had doctor appointments right after work. By the time we would get home, it would be after 6:30 and then we would eat.  Typically we eat at 4:30 or 5pm, depending on when I get home from work.

Okay, so I thought about it and thought about it... couldn't decide on lunch. Ended up at the local grocery store, where I bought a salad and a turkey sandwich.

Mind you, it's not like I work in the boonies... where there is no where to go for lunch... I have a variety of food around here, all within 10 minutes of my office - McDonald's, Subway, Cousins, Culvers, 3 chinese places, Buffalo Wild Wings, Taco Bell, Arby's, Sonic, Wendy's, Applebees, Panera, a vegetarian restaurant, 5 guys, and the list goes on and on and on... So it's not like there is nothing to eat... because that is NOT the problem here.

Today the same thing happened. Started around 10:30 or so. Yesterday I thought about splurging on a hamburger and fries, but since I wasn't sure what was for dinner, I passed. I then figured, maybe tonight (Friday). Tonight I work all day and then I have to go right to my second job. No real time to eat, so the burger would be good - filling... something in me.

I thought about it today... burger? chinese? fries with ketchup sounds good. yum. Well, maybe... I don't know... do I really want to eat that? I am sooooo confused.... 

I got in the car, if I turn one direction, it's chinese, burgers, sushi. The other direction is... EVERYTHING else.

Anyway, I could not, COULD NOT, for the life of me... bring myself to get a burger... once again, even with my evening work and busy-ness, I ended up with a salad and fruit. It is driving me nuts. I cannot justify the junk, the fat, the calories, any of it.

It's like I'm obsessed and I cannot get past it. My mind won't let me. I can't justify it in my mind... 

Seriously, I ask... is there something wrong with me? Does this seem just really wrong? Or just not right?

02 May 2012

Greek Yogurt - Question

I have a question...
I bought vanilla greek yogurt... yes, it's good for me... but I find that even the vanilla still has a bitter bite to it.
Does anyone have a suggestion for taming it down so it can be eaten without a cringe?

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