today is a bad day

Long weekend, with constant running. tired and ready to collapse. This morning was rough. The whole days started going down the tubes. And just kept going. I hate days like this.

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fat and depressed

Yep, another day feeling like this. Today's episode was brought on while sitting in church. She was so thin and muscular. I wish I could look like her. Yes, she does have a smaller frame than me... and she is shorter.... she is a runner... and she is younger... but I would love to have a body like hers. I am depressed.

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feel like hell

Not up to anything today. Feel like hell - fat, miserable and ugly. Hate myself and everything about me. What is wrong with me? I am so frustrated and confused. Why do I feel this way? I want to get a tattoo on my lower back but feel too gross and miserable to do it. I am determined this is my life...

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