13 July 2007

I Need Some Advice

I have a good friend who is getting married. She has changed her whole life for this guy, including letting him move in with her (3 years ago), take her car, manage her finances, and instill some not-so-good habits. He was not upfront and honest with her in the beginning, so now she is feeling the repercussions.

He is a great guy, but has problems being responsible. Since he has moved in, he has changed jobs at least 5 times (because he doesn't like them), driven them deeply into financial debt, and has assisted her in gaining back every pound she has ever lost (and more). Now they look like each other, heavy-set and dependent on each other.

They still insist, even in their financial state, of going to the bar several nights a week, eating out frequently, and buying more things they don't truly need. I don't know if they realize that they need to pay back what they use the credit cards for?

Anyway, they are getting married and, from knowing her all these years, she wants someone in her life to help her not be alone. She is not good at being alone and I think that is why she is doing this. She just needs to have someone there. This wedding they are planning is extravagant and way over the top (and they are paying for it?????). The wedding party has to travel out of town and spend 3 nights in a hotel.

My problem is that she asked me to help, which is fine, but she has gotten an attitude with me because I don't have free time to be there when she needs me. I have a full-time job and work 11 hours a day. I have a family and I have responsibilities to them. I don't sit at home waiting for her to call and she is unhappy that I don't have a free schedule.

Part of me is so angry with her "mightier than tho" attitude, that I really would like to tell her to stick it in her ear, but I can't . Too bad she doesn't understand...

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