Getting Past Mental Roadblocks

In the past, I have been hurt. I am so afraid of getting hurt again. My mind is set to believe that if he doesn't call, then I have said something wrong. If he doesn't answer the phone, he is with someone else. If we don't talk, then he doesn't want anything to do with me. I am so accustomed to getting hurt that I figure I just deserve it and that's life... my life... alone... solitude... Maybe I do deserve it, maybe I don't. I'm a good person with a big heart. I put everyone first and then, if I have time, find time for me. I don't feel I'm pretty or look like a model - I don't wear high fashion, I don't wear makeup, I'm not a size 4, maybe I'm just too horrible to be happy. I'm hurting right now and I can't get past these roadblocks...