Just my own little (yet not quite) "normal" world... yet honest and true... my bizarre thoughts and delusions... my happiness or frustration... all here... in one place... my place... along with the tiny voices in my head!! :) It's never been truly Normal, so why the hell start now??
03 December 2006
It's Been A While
I know I haven't written for a while... I am struggling to figure out who I am and what I am doing. I feel so lost and alone - I feel stranded with no where to go. I am not sure what is going on. I have been frustrated and angry, stressed and confused. Right now, I hate myself and hate everything about me. I just want to curl up. I am so unhappy and so confused, but why? I feel like everything I do is wrong, and no one really cares anymore. I am back to obsessing with my weight - I'm on the scale every day and I am unhappy. Several days this past week, I have refused to step on it because I knew, in the back of my mind, that the numbers were up... instead of going ballistic because I suddenly weighed too much, I opted to just ignore in and assume that my life is going down the tubes... I am in such a funk right now, I'm not sure how to get out. I am depressed about my weight, my looks, my body, I figure everything that goes wrong is my fault, I should be able to do everything without asking for help, and I should be the one who worry about everyone else first. Life sucks!
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2 comments:
Hey! Don't be embarrassed or ashamed to ask for help. We all need it at some point in time.
Keep your head up.
I know that... but I can't convince myself to do it... but then again, it's even harder to ask for help when people don't understand the issue to begin with...
Thanks... I can always count on you to stop by with words of wisdom. :)
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