Feeling good

Today is the 4th day since I started using Sensa. I am getting used to remembering it. I feel I am doing pretty well, especially since I started on Sunday when we went out for breakfast and had company for dinner. Monday was a group lunch and then company dinner. Tuesday was another group lunch. And I still feel positive. I haven't changed what I eat, so we will see how it works.
After the bad day on the scale, I need to get back on track.
I will keep you updated.

Wordless Wednesday

Need I say more?

status

Ok, got on the scale this morning. Weight is down. Nothing changed. Had breakfast out Sunday, dinner with a friend. Monday had subs for a.lunch meeting and them buffet for dinner at our company's annual meeting. Got on the scale and found numbers down. This is good. Will keep you informed.

I hate the scale!!!!

I got on the scale this morning. Sucked! I hate the scale and everything it entails. I am starting Sensa today and figured I would weigh myself. Now I am freaking depressed! I knew I have felt like shit, but now I totally feel like it!

sensa

Has anyone tried sensa? I'm thinking about it but wondering about thoughts out there.

Six Words Saturday (yeah, a day late)

 

Sleeping in does not come easy!

The Hardest Thing I Ever Did…

It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I had to do a very difficult thing.

After over six years at my job, and making many friends, I decided it was time to give my notice and move on to bigger and better things.

I grew so close to those in my world, my friends, my coworkers, my confidants, my support system. I felt so close to everyone and there were times when they were there to support me when my world seemed to drop down. I felt so close to them, but things had changed. I started feel more threatened, in my own mind, and left hung out to dry, that I felt it was time to do something because the miserableness I felt started to never let up. I even had to have my medicines regulated to add an additional depression med, to bring me out of days that seemed to truly take the lift out of me. It was hard getting to that point and difficult to function when feeling that way. I would spend hours at work and then be so beat by the time I got home that I could barely function, not to mention, I couldn't sleep because my mind wouldn't shut down. It was all adding up... in the negative. It has been a while and I had been looking for other options, but nothing would show up. I continued to live with my stress and anxiety, hoping that something would come along. I lived my life and continued to do what needed to be done. 

Finally, all things suddenly happened and my world changed in a matter of a week. From 0 to 60 in the blink of an eye. It moved so fast and I caught the ride. I took it on. Something new, something exciting. I gave my notice, stressed myself out, cried myself to sleep, worried, wondered, doubted myself, questioned my ability to handle change, and all the other anxiety-based actions.

This past week was my first week in my new routine. So many changes, so many differences. I made it through the week, it was great. Several people told me I seemed more happy and less stressed. I was smiling, I enjoyed going in, I didn't stress too much about the new stuff because they are training me.

The most difficult thing I had to do was make the decision to start a new chapter in my life, at age 42, as a single full-time mom, while going back to school to get my Bachelor's Degree.

I hate change.... hate it, hate it, hate it. Nope, can't make me... uh uh... no way...  but I did it. I sucked it up and did it... and lived!

And am finally happy!!!!!!

new job

So, this week I started my new job.

It's totally opposite of what I had. They have the whole company take breaks and lunch together. It's strange, after Working a job where I worked thru lunch or went out alone. I didn't get formal breaks.

I enjoy it though, its nice to be able to relax three times a day.

My job is great, everyone is so nice, and I believe I have made the right decision.

been forever but always new

Friday was difficult as a closed the door on a large chapter of my life. Over 6 years of my life were spent with the same people, day in and day out. I argued less with all of them in over six years than I did with my ex-husband in five years. This explains while.leaving my job wad more difficult than serving divorce papers.... Anyway...

Today my new chapter started and it is starting well. I will keep you informed and thank you for your support.

ewwwwwwww....

 

I linked up...

Ok. Today is rough. It was a long weekend and then I overslept this morning, leading me to feel like hell. So, today is the first day of my last week of this job. I am excited, yet stressed. I feel like I have do much to do, but that's just me... 110% until the 25th hour. But the stress and anxiety of change... And a new school class.... And bills... And then emotionally feeling like a blimp.... This has not been a good day. I don't like it when my routine is screwed up before it starts! I am a mental and emotional mess. I'm going to miss "my boys" at work. They care and believe in me. I'm noticing a pattern... Those that will be doing the job don't do it the way I do. I ask after exhausting efforts, they ask to avoid having to work. I have heard, more than once, that things are gonna go south... But you can't tell those who are "always right" that they are wrong.  Oh well... Four days to go.... But I still feel fat!

butting heads

This morning has been a long one. My son and I have butted heads more than once already. It's gonna be a long day. I can't deal with this.

Control Freaks of the World Unite...

Twisted Domestic Goddess Posted and it caught my attention

Control freaks of the world unite. Just don't forget I'm in charge

Trust me, I understand the term "control freak"... I am obsessive, yes, but a freak... no... well... yea... maybe... kinda.... 

I guess you can say that I do have these type of tendencies. I have to have things planned. I am not a "spur of the moment" person. Unless it's planned and I know what is happening... IT AIN'T HAPPENING!

I know that I follow behind my family and pick up dirty laundry, put dirty dishes in the sink, wipe the crumbs off the counter and in to the sink, put the tie wraps on the bread loaf, and the list goes on.

I guess I could call it obsessive... but since it seems to completely interfere with those around me, and drive them insane, I am thinking it's a control thing.

I also need to make sure lights are off, and no one person needs three tv's on, in three rooms on the house, when no one is watching any of them.

Yeah well, I am a control freak, with obsessive tendencies...

and damn proud of it!!!!!

 

I must confess...

I MUST CONFESS...

I Confess... I don't like change. It puts me into a spin of anxiety.

I Confess... I get jealous or feel threatened easily... I am insecure (to put it nicely)

I Confess... I hate how I look - I hate my body and I curse my family for the genes I inherited.

I Confess... I have odd cravings and I know I shouldn't, but I do. Oh well.

I Confess... I don't NEED any more shoes or purses, but I have to HAVE them...

Five Question Friday 8/3/12

Welcome to Five Question Friday!!

You've come to the right place if you want a fun, easy post or if you've suddenly discovered your muses' gallbladders have them in a headlock and refuse to release them. 

Rules for 5QF: Copy and paste the following questions to your blog post, answer them, then watch for the linky post to appear Friday morning and LINK UP!

Oh, and remember (pay close attention...this is the important one)...HAVE FUN!

Questions for Friday, August 3rd: (Special thanks to Pam (@trooppetrie) from Troop Petrie, Brooke (@HallBro) from Brooke and Michael, Maranda, getting all political on us ;) (@MarandaLamping) from Maranda Lamping, Tina (@PeazyT) from I Have Autism, Not Cooties, and Mrs. K (@KSJD22) from Mrs. K and Captain J for these 5QF question suggestions! I would love to link you in a future 5QF, so come on over to my community or watch for my Thursday afternoon shout out for questions on Twitter and offer up your best question suggestions! Remember to @5crookedhalos me and use hashtag #5QF if you go the Twitter route!) 

1. What is a must in a hotel room? Water glasses and a book with local attractions, if I am out of town.

2. Which Olympic event would you be best at? I can swim... kinda...

3. What's your stance on the Chick-fil-A subject? I believe that political and religious beliefs are that of our own and not of the business we run. This should never have been an issue and I feel it has gone outside it's bounds. The only thing that is going to happen is that one more fast food chain will be on the hit-list for those protesting them.

4. One thing you said you'd never do as a parent, but totally have. Act like my own mom... and clean my son's room... to find the dirty clothes and missing water bottles!!

5. What's the weirdest thing you've ever found at a yard sale? I typically don't do yard sales, but my ex-husband has come home with a king size waterbed.

 

Follow Friday

Each week, Hilary at Feeling Beachie lists four statements with a blank for you to fill in on your own blogs. If you want to join the fun and come up with four fill in’s of your own, please email them to me at feelingbeachie@gmail.com. If I use them, I will add you as co-host to the hop! This week’s co-host is Jen from what would jen do (she came up with the last two statements

I would LOVE it if you could please help me spread the word about this hop…. So, please tweet, FaceBook share, and add the linky to your post…

 This week’s statements:

1. I have no desire _to deal with idiots_

2. I love the smell of _fresh rain_ because _it's kind of relaxing_

3. I wish that my _stress_ would magically_subside_

4. In one month I _will be in another place in my life_

Just over a week

I have just over a week left. My nerves are rattled and I am exhausted, but I am moving on...

Everyone has been good about it and all the people who have come up to me have given me their blessing, which makes it easier for me, to know I am doing the right thing. 

The time will fly and my heart will start to ache more as the days go on.

I have the blessing and best wishes of those who know what I am capable, and know who I am. I think that means the most.

I feel, in my heart, that everything does happen for a reason... and God has put me in this place for a reason. This is where I need to be... and where I need to go.

When you have a day when you can't help but question the situation, realize that God won't let you fall...

 

My life, my job, my world... one big dysfunctional relationship

The word DYSFUNCTION seems to say it all...

I live my life... my job is my life... I spend as much time at work as I do at home, with my family.

Have you ever reached a point in your life where your job is like a dysfunctional relationship?

You love it, you hate it.

You get mad, you forgive.

You walk away, but you return.

I am at the point where I am moving on. I have suffered with this love/hate relationship for longer than I lasted in my totally f'd marriage. The extremes are getting more and more and my patience and self-loving is getting less and less. I am going to drop the bomb and tell them goodbye, but it is hard. Each day, I look at what I do, what I have, and those I work with. They are like family... in a messed up sort of way.

Right now I am struggling, just like in any relationship. You grow familiar with quirks and funkiness, but you still get miffed at them and really want to tell them where exactly to go... and it isn't direct to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

I love my guys and they put up with me. (In this "relationship", I put up with a lot more from them then they do from me.)

I think it's time to rethink this relationship. I think "I need some space".