03 November 2011

I'm not FAT... I'm FLUFFY

I drove to work this morning and all I could think about was my body. I am glad it's not a long trip because it would have totally driven me nuts, but it was long enough.

I hate getting on the scale and I hate when clothes don't feel right. I have struggled with my weight all my life and both my parents weren't exactly thin... at least not as they got older.

It all started when I put on a pair of pants that just didn't feel right. I felt uncomfortable in them, so off to change my clothes. I could really get used to working from home, where sweats, a t-shirt, and bare feet is in style.

I hate the fact that I am long-legged, so all the pants are too short... and I HATE it when my ankles show! (Am I a freak, or what?) The pants have to cover my ankles! But that is a whole other obsession...

Anyway, back to being fluffy. I have struggled forever with my weight and have suffered the long painful roads of disordered eating. I can't get past it though. I also can't get past seeing all my flaws in the mirror. I have friends that are thin as rails and can wear anything... and then there is me, who would prefer the sta-puffed marshmallow man suit... just to hide my body.

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