21 November 2011

Surviving the story of abuse

Abuse seems to be something I am drawn to... or at least those type of people and relationships.

I was dating a guy who was very protective and very aggressive. He would need to know my every move and every whereabouts. If I didn't answer my phone, he assumed I was up to something (when in actuality, it was him who was up to something). I remember one night, I told him it was over. He snapped. First, he destroyed the bathroom door of our apartment, with his fists. He put holes in it and basically shredded it. We then went for a drive. At that time, he tried to pull the keys from the ignition and he grabbed my face and throat. I freaked. That was the end of it. I told him I could never trust him again.

It was during that relationship that I started to suffer from eating disorders and cutting. I was a lost, hurt soul that could not find happiness.

I then got married. That was both a huge mistake and a learning experience. My husband was into drugs, which I was not aware of. He had a jealous streak also and a mean streak to match. When he would drink he was nasty. He verbally abused me constantly, leaving myself crying and my son scarred, wondering why dad always made me cry. 

After 5 years of the abuse, I called it quits. I was mentally and emotionally beat. I was constantly looking over my shoulder.

I survived the abuse of those relationships, but there are so many people who don't...

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