I feel like support and friends are around... Until the meltdown... I'm having one. I can't explain it. It suddenly feels like i am so alone. No one is here. No one cares. I cry in my pillow and wonder what is next, until I wake in the morning. I pour a glass of wine and turn off my light. I guess I'm alone. I will be that way. I will ask God for guidance as I fight my feelings. I'm not sure what comes next, but this linliness and anxiety are beating me down. I am fighting the voices in my head and the feelings in my heart.