20 January 2012
Do you have any idea what you are doing to me? To my mind? To my heart?
We used to have the best between us. I was under the impression that we still do but you make me feel like shit. You walk by me without speaking. You don't include me in conversations. And the list goes on. I wish you could see what you are doing to me. You have no idea how I interpret this. I already have a body image that is down the tubes and then, when you seem to not see me, I feel like hell. I feel like I am no longer pretty or attractive. I don't feel like you miss me when we are apart. Do you still think about me? Do you still miss me? You tell me you do, but how true are you? Why do I not believe you? You have crushed my heart and messed up my brain. I thought I was someone but when you suddenly change your attitude, it hits me right in the heart. I feel even fatter, uglier, lonlier, depressed. You don't understand that, what I have suffered with every day of my life, comes back to haunt me with each of these motions you make. You can't seem to see that you are tearing me apart and tearing everything about me apart. I don't feel like I can ever trust what people, or do. I can only say that they are fronts, to keep from hurting my feelings.