The Scale...

I got on the scale this morning. I knew I shouldn't but I haven't for a while. I had to have a reality check. The numbers were definitely not my friend, but they haven't gone up since the last time. That is a good thing, but it still makes me feel like hell. I hate my body, I hate myself, and how my clothes fit. I don't even like how I feel in my own body. ICK! I am too tired to really give a damn, but I hate myself so much that I truly don't give a damn. I am caught in a loop of madness and I don't know which way I am spinning.