25 December 2011
The holidays are good, but I have a hard time getting into them. I find myself getting depressed and feeling a strong anxiety. My niece is thin, pretty, has a great husband, life, etc. My other niece is gorgeous, her family has money, her boyfriend is great, and she is happy. My brother and his wife have a nice house, in the lake, and go on vacation. And then there is me... I'm a full-time, single mom, divorced, unhappy with my body, no self-esteem, working full-time, going to school, living with my mom, and living paycheck to paycheck. I'm envious. And jealous. And miserable. I feel useless and worthless and like a failure, compared to those in my family.