04 December 2011

Watching tv...

I flipped channels today, and here I am... watching documentaries about obese people. I guess I fall into these shows, since I can understand. My biggest thing is that the weight charts call me "obese". It is terms like that that cause the problems. I am 5'8" and have a waist. I can press over 400# with my legs and I am not one to sit still. But because of my bone structure, the charts tell me I am fat... actually obese. And you wonder why people suffer. It is the generic outline of the medical profession that makes us sick. I watch these people who are 800# or more. Its sad. I don't want to be that way. I couldn't live like that. I used to be teased about my weight, which is why I fear going back there.  If I feel fat or bloated, I refuse to eat. It's all so overwhelming. My first thought is to not eat. If the damage is done, I consider purging... I have done it all.

Been there, done that.

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