28 December 2011

Need to think (out loud)

I just received a phone call, from a friend of mine. I met her close to 10 years ago and we hit it off. She was a pretty, bubbly, outgoing, special lady. 

When she gave up her life here to move down south with a southern gentleman, she left with me, a small hand made crystal, wrapped in silver, with other stones attached. Since that day, it has remained with me, in my wallet, always with me, at my side. I think about her often, as I look at it and touch it. Wondering how she is doing.

Anyway, the purpose of this post...
This southern gentleman, D, has always been softspoken and polite, but with the ability to be a growly, gruff, bear.
L has always been sweet and soft-spoken, with her occasional "get outta my face" attitude.

Lately she has been in a not-so-happy place. Her husband travels and they live in the middle of pretty-much nowhere. He does not feel she needs access to the internet. He monitors her cell phone minutes. If she goes over, he takes it away from her.

He has gone from being a loving, caring, romantic man, to Dr Jeckyll/Mr Hyde.

She calls me from his phone while he is busy, so he doesn't know she calls. She's afraid he will take the phone from her. He tells her she doesn't need email or internet access. When she does use the internet, it's only when he is home and when he stands over her shoulder.

I guess what triggered my frustration and fright today is that she called me, while he was in the shower, so she could talk to me. I could hear the fright and aloneness in her voice. She called to tell me she received my Christmas letter and it touched her and made her realize that we all have comforts... mine was telling everyone that I asked my son to bring me my teddy bear when I was in the hospital. Yes, I am 42 years old and still sleep with a teddy bear. He goes everywhere with me and he is my comfort.

I feel so bad. My heart goes out for her. She has lost her friends. Her family has been alienated. She is alone in that world. I understand her pain, as I have been there, but she is in no position to go anywhere. She has nothing of her own and no where to go.

I am glad that we are still close enough that we can talk, giving her a line of communication, with someone who knows both of them, and knows that type of living situation.

I feel so sad that people have to live like that... living in fear every day.
It's not right... and we shouldn't have to suffer like that...
but we do... we have... we will...

If you know anyone who is suffering like that, or at all, please help them get help. At least so they know they aren't alone in their struggles... We are never alone... we are not alone... and we should never be alone...

2 comments:

Camille Griffiths said...

That is awful. No one should be so controlling of their spouse. How sad, I hope they can either work thru these problems or she can escape his abuse soon.... =(

PTC said...

I wish she would leave him. It's like that movie with Julie Roberts, I can't think of the name right now.

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