Today was hard

Went to my great niece's bday party. I felt gross. My niece is smaller than me, even at 6 months pregnant. Her two friends and both step sisters are at least size 1 or 2, after having kids. J has two, a has one, A2 in on @3. They make me sick.

I get so depressed. Then, this Christmas, I see my other niece, who is tall and rail thin also.

I guess this is yet another reason why I hate holidays... I feel fat against my family.