Today I have been in "a mood" - not really sure what is going on, but today was bad. Maybe it's because the weather is changing, the leaves are falling, the wind is blowing, the sun is missing, and it's raining. Or maybe because my mind is just totally fucked up.
I felt like I was the biggest dork on earth and that everyone's problems or anger was caused by me. (I probably wasn't the cause, but then again...)
I am sitting here, in my sweats and a big baggy sweatshirt, trying to clear my mind by writing, but it's not working. I want to just crawl into my bed, pull the covers over me and hide forever. I feel like a miserable piece of shit today.
I don't like feeling like this, but I don't know how to shake it. I want to just curl up and die... so no one will have to deal with my mistakes or put up with my depressing attitude.
I am scared and alone.
2 comments:
Tere, try to take it easy over there. This weather, I'm sure, isn't helping with your mood. You deserve to be around so keep working at stuff, ok?!
Are you talking to anyone?
I am back on my meds... was off for a bit - my son needed to get to the doctor and get his meds, and with a money crunch - I had to make sure he was stable. I know it isn't the smartest thing, but it had to be done. I am back on my meds and I had to go see my shrink in the next couple weeks. I just have to get over this lump in the road... or pothole to hell... eithr way.
Thanks for your support. I appreciate it. Sometimes I just need to talk.
Tere...
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