I get so obsessed with making everyone happy that when I feel like someone is upset, I automatically assume it's because of me (and don't bother using the "when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me" phrase - been there done that).
I guess I just figure that if people are miserable, it's because I, myself, have done something wrong, or done something to upset them. It never crosses my mind that maybe there are other reasons... I automatically figure it's me... me... all me...
I believe this has a lot to do with my OCD personality - I want everyone to be happy and I feel that if they are miserable, then I haven't given enough of myself or I have made a mistake. Then, if others aren't happy, then I get upset because that's probably my fault too - when suffering from depression.
Living a life in the mindset of an OCD behavior, where everything has to be "just so"... or in my case... perfect... it makes life hard. It's tough enough to keep myself in line, let alone keep the world around me in sync.
I am a victim of behavioral disorders that I have tried so many times to overcome and recover from, but I keep getting sucked down into the darkness. My mind starts to play tricks on me and I feel as if I'm to blame when someone else has a problem - like it's my fault and I cause it, some way, shape, or form.
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